Well, that sure was a science fiction action movie, all right. It had the sciences, it had the fictions, it had the actions, and it had the movies.

Spoilers, but you shouldn’t give a shit.

It was also generic as shit (My teen son afterward: “I called everything in that whole movie” AS INDEED HE DID), it was over-reliant on Ultimate Universe bullshit[1], it seemed to get Star Wars and Star Trek regularly confused (such as the part where Captain Kirk piloted the Millennium Falcon down a Death Star trench while Klingon X-Wings followed), it had the insane moral compass that’s apparently de rigueur for modern action movies[2], and it was clumsy enough that one scene that was supposed to be moving made me burst out laughing.

  1. When the dude goes “MY NAME IS KHAN” and there’s a dramatic pause, the teen was all like, okay, whatever, dude. ↩︎

  2. Hey, tens/hundreds of thousands of people who died as San Francisco’s densely populated downtown was annihilated, sucks to be you. Let’s talk about a main character who was in danger, because the good of the many outweighs the hahaha fuck you guys. ↩︎

Not a good movie. About the only redeeming thing you can say is that the end sets up a movie that could be good, especially if it has different people working on it. But it probably won’t be, because action movies are action movie-y, and that’s the end of it.

Also, the movie didn’t even come close to passing the Bechdel Test, again. There were two female characters in the movie (I think literally exactly two), but they never talked to each other once, so.