Holy shit, this is an awful, awful movie. Critics describe it as a romance, but it is NOT in any way. Let me describe the plot (I’m going to be free with spoilers, because fuck this movie):

  1. A woman from a small village gets married to a barge captain that she doesn’t seem to know very well, and it seems like it’s as much to get out of the village as anything else. The villagers all judge her disapprovingly.

  2. Her husband is immediately a shitbag, he’s all grouchy and surly, even yelling at her for having the temerity to do the cleaning (which he certainly wasn’t doing).

  3. The first mate of the barge, an old buffoon named Jules, is with her in the cabin, and appears to be just about to assault her before she distracts him and diverts his attention. It’s a chilling scene.

  4. Later, she’s talking to him in his cabin (because her husband ignores her and she’s bored on a barge), and they seem to be getting along, at which point her husband bursts in in a jealous rage, hits her in the back of the head (knocking her down), and proceeds to smash many of the things in the cabin while shouting angrily at her.

  5. He doesn’t apologize for this, but does say that he’ll take her to see Paris. She’s happy and content and totally over that whole abusive episode thing. He does not take her to see Paris, because the first mate instead goes off on unauthorized shore leave. She’s sad about it. He’s angry that she’s sad.

  6. A flim-flam man in the next town tries to seduce her into leaving her husband and going with him to Paris. He is clearly shady, and while she’s tempted to go with him, she isn’t THAT dumb. The husband reacts predictably with more jealous rage.

  7. She determines to see Paris on her own. She slips out of the barge and takes a train to Paris. Her husband is all “fuck her, I wouldn’t take her back if she came back right now” and ships out of town leaving her behind.

  8. She’s charmed by Paris… until a thief sets upon her and steals her purse and money. She looks unsuccessfully for some kind of haven, and receives salacious proposals from a gentleman, which she rebukes. Somehow (not specified in the movie), she ends up… getting a job? I guess? Really not clear.

  9. Meanwhile, the husband has fallen into a deep sulk, and is basically about to get fired from his job. The first mate goes off to Paris to find the dude’s wife. When he finds her, he carries her physically back to the ship.

  10. And they lived happily ever after! Which is 100% plausible!

The movie basically reads to me as a feminist propaganda film about how women of the era had to basically choose between one form or another of danger or awfulness, but it seems like critics are ALL OVER IT being described as a really awesome romance movie.

Critics, you’re creeping me the fuck out.