TMWKTM: Hitchcock ‘n’ Stewart, but seriously lame. Note to directors: If one of the climactic scenes of your movie involves some lady sitting at a piano singing “Que Sera Sera” and they get like four verses into it without any time-jump cuts, please come up with a better idea.

TB: Bond, but seriously lame. Note to directors: If one of the climactic scenes of your movie involves a super-awkward poorly edited underwater battle with people flopping around like frogs, please come up with a better idea. Also, the part where you darken the clearly-daylit frame to indicate that it’s night? Not working. Also, the part where you run the film really fast to indicate speed? Not working, either. The misogyny, however, was fully up to snuff.