So this is another one where I’m really unsure why it’s on the list. Basically, take the Han Solo/Princess Leia dynamic from Star Wars (he’s a scruffy ship captain who’s just in it for himself, she’s a true patriot who wants to take down the Empire [of Kaiser Wilhelm]), and extend it out for a whole movie.

Or maybe another way to look at it is that it’s like Apocalypse Now — there’s a war on, and they drift down a river until they get to the place where they can complete their mission.

It’s not a bad movie, really. It’s just… not really much of anything. Bogart and Hepburn aren’t charismatic and have no chemistry, the dialogue is banal, the cinematography leans heavily on “yes, you’re in Africa, here’s some crocodiles! And also lions! And giraffes!” There’s just no there there.

Fun fact: This is based on a C.S. Forester story (the Hornblower guy); in the book, their plan to sink a German ship ends in failure, and the Germans capture them but hand them back to the British because whatever, they’re just randos. In the movie, their plan succeeds due to wild coincidence, and also manages to save their lives in an equally implausible way. The book ending is about a thousand times better, and the difference between the endings pretty much captures what a bland movie this is. If they’d dared to follow the book, it would have been far more interesting.