So remember how I saw Duck Soup and I loathed it with the white hot passion of a thousand suns? If not, well, the tldr on it is that I super-hated it. Like a lot.

Anyway, though, thanks to the completely tasteless buffoons that made the AFI list, I’ve now seen a second Marx Brothers “comedy” (sic), and it will tell you all you need to know that by the end of this one, I was thinking, “in comparative retrospect, Duck Soup was actually kinda good, relatively speaking.”

This is bad. This is so bad. Zero laughs. Zero smiles. Six attempts to claw out my own eyeballs. 3,000 desires to punch every one of these Marx Brother shitbirds in the face, repeatedly.

I know people like these movies. I genuinely and legitimately don’t understand how that’s possible in any way. There’s nothing here to like, it’s just shitty pseudo-comedic patter and (very bad, like sub-Three’s Company) physical “humor” (sic). There were, and I’m being completely sincere in this statement, far more funny elements in Saving Private Ryan than there were in this.

Absolutely without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. If you must see a Marx Brothers movie — and you can safely skip it — see Duck Soup instead. And to the makers of the AFI list: people, you’ve got 100 slots. 100! That’s not a lot! And you blew two of them on the Marx Brothers. What were you thinking.