So I want to talk about two completely unrelated movies here, because I think they actually are related in a kind of bankshot way.

The first of them is Dario Argento’s Suspiria, a 1977 giallo. This is a movie that makes essentially no sense at all. Like, not just in the usual retrospective sense where you think back on it afterward and ask yourself “wait why would they have had a room full of barbed wire anyway?”, but even in the moment as you’re watching it, the movie makes a lot of leaps. There are abrupt transitions, undermotivated decisions, and inexplicable actions.

But, the movie is dripping with style — it’s hyper-saturated and incredibly distinctive, and even if you don’t quite understand why something is happening, it’s mesmerizing. And so, this is a movie that has remained a lowkey classic for 40+ years, even inspiring a 2018 remake (apparently not as good).

And virtually everything I just said up there could apply to David Lynch’s Dune. I actually think it’s more narratively straightforward than its reputation would have it, but “visually fascinating, deeply interesting, and a little weird” is a good capsule of it.

But Dune: Part One is a completely different thing. It’s a very straightforward, well-executed CG-era science fiction epic. It has a very good script that gives each character definition, it has great acting from everyone in it, the production design is competent and the CG is expectedly high-quality, and the result is a film that delivers exactly what you would think it would deliver (at least, once you realize that “Part One” is part of its title and aren’t expecting a full story).

It never surprises, it’s never weird, it’s simple and straightforward and good. Everyone will like it, and deservedly it will rank very highly on Rotten Tomatoes.

But mark my words: Twenty years from now, people will still be talking about David Lynch’s Dune, and this one will be a minor, largely-forgotten footnote, because it provides nothing to latch onto, nothing that wows or shocks or is even just durably interesting. It provides the same kind of bland competence that Marvel Studios has perfected, and while it’s nice to see that non-superhero movies can do that, I think I’d be happier if filmmakers set their sights on another target.