Okay, so this is a movie without redeeming value. It is horribly, horribly cheesy, to the point where it’s literally unbearable to watch; it has horrible little four-note ditties all throughout; and it just in general sucks ass with the power of a thousand suns.

So why did I actually sit still watching it for an hour and a half, you ask? To which I answer: For the same reason I watched Twister in 1998. Ah, the early days of format launches! For every Serenity in HD, there is a Phantom of the Opera. Or two, if you count Doom.

As a format demonstration reel, fucking phenomenal. Amazing detail, glorious colors, brilliant contrast, artifact-free high-motion scenes, and pristine sound (HD-DVD has a much higher quality soundtrack than the heavily-compromised Dolby Digital of legacy DVD).

As a movie, though: Not so much. I wanted to watch Serenity again to get the taste of sucking out of my mouth.